Bittersweet,emphasis on the bitter.

I don’t know how to start this post. I’m dumbfounded with everything. The actions of people affects us and hurts us. I’m disappointed in myself. I am just hurt on how the situation was handled. Oh well,things happened. Another episode i guess. Everything went wrong and things are just messed up. I’ve never cried for a long time and i almost  did. I felt like a weak pathetic soul cause boys don’t cry but then what can you do?

I almost died when i was in the train and the phone conversation was very useful. I kinda sorted things out,well not really it just made me feel better for like a minute only. I feel like some squashed pepsi can and being thrown in the recycle bin.Oh well,this shit always open but what to do,this journey called life isn’t easy. 

Back to some lighter topic,today was quite boring actually. I just took some notes that could inspire to like enhance the performance and shalom’s idea was like brilliant! I’m just waiting to get my hands on the equipment.HAHA.

You belong to me.

 

It’s raining at 7 in the night and the feeling is just comforting,coming out from my warm shower and my hair still damp and in my bed. 

Awoken by my alarm and yes,i chowed down some good old meat in the morning,big breakfast & for lunch is chicken rice and dinner,subway melt with extra bacon! I’m such a weak soul that loses to temptation. The car ride was not that exciting,cause saranya was driving slow. I was actually very excited cause i never like sat in a car where your friend drives. LOLS. 

I’m still shocked about it. It is actually quite disturbing to know that your friends did this behind your back. I don’t know how they have still the audacity to act as if nothing happened and smile and talk to me. It’s actually quite hurting. I’m lost for words. Sigh. :/

PS: I bet that picture stirred some wild fantasy.haha. DON’T. That fantasy belongs to me.

Leave me alone.

I hate occasions where all the family members gather. That’s when the long lost aunty sees and judges you. It was just crappy. Mum was not even bothered to see if i woke up or not?  She got all the other 2 nicely dressed up. I just wore the jeans i wore yesterday and some crappy shirt and followed them. On top of that,it was raining. UGH.

Apparently.some of the relatives didn’t know who was the eldest cause my brother was taller and stuff. I am not pissed about that,but the fact that my mum said ya,he is more matured. She sugar coated it,i know wht exactly she means. Then this dumb ass family friend came. He used to tutor me when i was secondary 1. I dreaded it.  I hated it. His wife,another one. Major bitch. Sigh,no matter how much i try,i’m not good enough for my family,relatives & life. I just wish i could like disappear with the wind. The wife was like talking to my uncle and i was waiting for them to finish their dumb ass conversation,and she was like “oh venkat,why are you here,following us like some kind of shadow” I was super shocked and i just stood there with my mouth open and my uncle spoke and said “he is waiting for me and i think i better go off” My uncle and i can be preety competitive at time cause he is only 4 years older than me but he is nice.  I hate her and the husband,once when i was at their house for tution,she was teaching me english. Then she was on the computer,and  i wanted to ask her something which i can’t remember now,but then she was watching porn! I saw naked boobs on her desktop,and i just turned away. My uncle told me “why didn’t you shout and make a huge deal out of it ?” Oh well,i was super traumatised and i was only 12 at that point of time. GOD! I just hate my life,sometimes they say family cares for you the most but right now i think my friends are doing a better job.

Lenses and Serious talk.

Today was a tiring day. Headed to school with jaci,priya & saranya.Since i’m in charge of multimedia (sounds so cool.LOLS. It is!) Shalom came and explained the whole outline and everything,went to rent all the filming equipment and my hands were aching after pushing the huge case with wheels. I couldn’t feel my hand,my right hand to be precise. My fingers were aching,couldn’t bend them. I’m such a idiot. Today was very productive. HAHA! Finally,got my hands on the hand of the gossip girl season 3 episode! Thanks to shalom!

I’ve been caught up lately with my own things and i’m really sleepy now. I won’t think about it for now cause when i wake up it will seem so yesterday.

Summer Love?

I’m officially a vegetarian for one month,starting from today. Yesterday night,before the clock striked 12, i saw this mac ad in the newspaper. “MEGA McSpicy”. I was like,i’m gonna eat i tomorrow and realizing i can’t for a month. I’m not sad,anytime i crave for meat i will just stare at a peta ad and be inspired for the next 5 minutes before my craving starts again.

“Confidence is sexy” is just oh so inspirational. & you wanna know who else is sexy ?

LONDON!

 Her eyes are so preety that i can stare to for hours. ANTM is today! GO WATCH!